Living relationship deep

There are two conversations happening about AI right now, and I find myself somewhere between them.

In the first, AI is going to destroy humanity. There's a real conversation there about economics, and about what it can do to weapon systems that are online, and I would say the concern is rightfully held. In the second, none of that is worth worrying about. There are some incredible writers on both sides, and whichever side you're on, I encourage you to read up on their works.

This is not a doomsday report or a warning. My view is a third one.

When I hear the concern that AI is taking away our humanity, I agree, but not in the way you'd think I would. I believe it's diminishing the relationships we have with each other. It's diminishing our critical reasoning skills. It's diminishing our communication skills. And it's making us more reliant on something we aren't validating as much as we should (or even used to).

And yet the thesis I'm working with is this: I believe AI is actually an incredible tool to take us deeper, relationally, with other humans. I don't think that happens by default. I think it only happens if we use it on purpose, and the rest of this is what I mean by that.

We're only human

Don't get me wrong, this tool is SO remarkable. It's improving our efficiency and effectiveness; we're more effective with it in our market research and planning, and even in how we design and monitor the systems we deploy.

What we can't lose sight of, though, is the fact that we're only human.

When we use these tools, they shouldn't be replacing our thinking, which I see time and time again. In fact, it's almost nauseating.

We need to be asking ourselves, "How do I level up the soft skills and hard skills that really only a human can (or should) be doing? Am I applying this technology in a way that frees me up and increases my capacity to be more relational?"

Man's best friend

There are certain things about our relational being that only humans have, and it's incredible.

See, even a dog, man's best friend, is a relational being, but a dog isn't even close to filling the void of another human. That doesn't put down the rest of creation; humanity is genuinely on a whole other level, and I think that's something we can all agree on.

In a day and age when technology is improving and innovating at a pace very few of us can wrap our minds around, what would it look like to double down on investing in relationships?

That's how I see this technology. I choose to see the opportunity, and the potential to harness it in a way that's intentional.

Because we've traded intentionality, and we've traded true skill, for a reliance and dependence on this technology. Believe me, I've seen it time and time again; people just use AI to replace their own genius. Yes, it's meant to fill a gap, but it cannot (and should not ever) replace our intelligent design as humanity.

So the question I'm proposing is this.

What if we used it intentionally, to fill gaps and increase our capacity in the marketplace, in a way that didn't replace us as humanity but actually increased our ability to be relational with other humans?

Hindsight is 20/20

I'm not a doomsayer. Maybe that stuff's going to happen. It might, and we should be aware of the threats this technology has. I'm all for full education in the risks and the rewards.

I'm just not going to fret in the corner about what could potentially happen and how bad this could get.

That said, we have what we have today, and I have the resources available to me today to take action in the best way forward that I know how. That's all we will ever have. That's all humanity has ever had.

Look at every revolution from the beginning of history; there's always been a threat, and there's always been a risk. The Industrial Revolution brought a higher risk of disease and so much more. We discovered a new low of humanity through it, while at the same time discovering a new high of innovation and opportunity.

There's always a tradeoff, and I think the most successful people and organizations in history understand that.

In 10 years we may have a whole new threat and opportunity in one package. We're going to have to sift through the threat and safeguard our teams and families while pursuing the opportunity. That's just the reality.

So instead of curling up in a ball and hoping this all goes away, I propose we look at the resources available to us. We look at AI and say, "Wonderful. How do I use this to grow as a leader? How do I grow in skills I'll keep, skills that compound and stack and provide more value in the marketplace?"

Because whether we use AI or not, we have to be creating value in the marketplace. That's the call.

Know what you put in

We have to validate the output.

So many people have ChatGPT write an email and they send it. It sounds like garbage, and I know you don't even know what you wrote. "Oh, but I use Claude, so it must sound better." That doesn't actually change it!

Whether you know what you're putting in and what you're getting out, or not, you are still responsible for everything you publish, send, put out there to the world. Can we just start acting like we realize that?

Know what you put in. Validate what you get out.

You're irreplaceable

Let's be honest, the Industrial Revolution made us a little more like robots. So many of us are in these mundane roles, doing little tasks all day that just aren't that valuable, when we should be solving problems and building the relationships and partnerships that create change in our communities and nations.

What if we learned how to harness this technology to take over those things, freeing us up to provide more value to our employer and teams?

I don't think admin assistants are going away. That position is being redefined, and it's becoming MORE valuable. In fact, if you're an admin assistant, you should see AI as an opportunity to make more money.

"Well, how? My boss is going to fire me and replace me with a Claude agent that isn't even set up properly!" True, potentially, and it's going to make more mistakes than you ever made.

So what if you showed your boss this? "Hey, I'm going to build the AI tools that handle these tasks, which really aren't that valuable, and you can put me on work that's higher value for you. You're making $100 an hour and I'm making $30; let me take these off your plate, and you've brought what they cost from $100 an hour down to $30."

See, it's all about reframing it. You, as a human, are irreplaceable.

Become the validator. Become the verifier. For the companies that aren't hiring verifiers, it's their loss.

Everyone's racing to cut costs, because that's what seems to make more profit immediately. I believe those companies are going to get weeded out, overrun by the companies that restructure instead and bring in verifiers (and sometimes outside teams) to review their work and their AI policy. They won't see lower costs right away. They will, however, go the furthest in this next stretch.

Smaller teams that can't afford a whole outside team are going to hire one person. You could become that person, if that's actually how you're wired.

Know who you are

In a day and age when fewer and fewer people seem to know who they even are, the first thing we have to do is understand that very fact - who I am.

That's not some ooh-ahh weird thing. It's simply asking what comes naturally to you: what are your talents, what are your gifts, and what's your personality?

Once you realize who you are, all of a sudden you know what to use AI to replace; maybe it's the things that aren't your strengths, or maybe it's the $5 tasks when you're a $30-an-hour worker. Don't hide from the fact that it can do these things.

And you can't become the person who builds these tools without knowing who you are, because you may also just be in the wrong role, which would get you replaced anyway.

Genuinely, you will never make more than you make now until you realize who you are. It's not all about money, but that's an indicator.

You'll never catch up on sleep and be less stressed until you're walking in it. That's not all, but it's an indicator.

You'll never have deep, meaningful relationships and time for those who matter most until you understand who you are and you're walking in it. That may not be everything to you, but it's certainly an indicator.

Maximum horsepower

In a day and age when everyone's going AI-native, and everyone's screaming "use this AI tool, use that AI tool," don't get overwhelmed by all of it. And I'd encourage you, don't run from it either.

The most important thing is that you know who you are and who your team is, with the right people in the right seats. Then you look at the technology and partnerships available to you, and you piece it all together like an elaborate machine, until all of a sudden you have an engine roaring at maximum horsepower.

Now you're using AI where it actually matters: taking off a human's plate what really shouldn't be on a human's plate, and freeing up your team to be more relational and create more value.

-DC